you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I could fuck to npr.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
