he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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