Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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