Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
