you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
