Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
