i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
