I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
