we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
