You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
