4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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