now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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