I feel like abortions should bother me more
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
