So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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