When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
