Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
COCAINE IS GR8
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