Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
