You can't special order awesome
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
