It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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