Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
