Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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