Im at strip club and am horny
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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