Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Please don't give away my fajitas
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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