The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
