I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
