Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
