I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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