I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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