The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
