If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pants are for mortals
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
