I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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