How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
