so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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