Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
