"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
