Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
