i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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