what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
