I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
