he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
