how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
