Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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