she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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