i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
