You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
