I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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