I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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