He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
