This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
