moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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